Paulette V. Hogan, East Bay Activist, Tased, Unarmed, In Her Home, In Her Bedroom

My Story About My Tasing:

On December 19, 2008 about 3:00 p.m. I made a call to my family to say that I had had it with everybody. They had let me down on serveral occasions. Earlier that morning I had called my "brother", a man who is like a brother to me, to say I needed some help with some bills. I was shocked to hear him cuss me out and tell me to "leave me the f... alone". I knew how much I cared about him and his family and I could not believe his words.

All that week, I had been faced with those kind of words from people like 7th District Councilman Larry Ried, 6th District Councilwoman Desley Brooks and others in my neighborhood. All I felt I did was cared about the community. I went to City Hall to try to make a difference. I went to the Masque to try to form a bond between the Church and the Musliums. I feed children in my nieghborhood because they are hungry. However, to be called some of the most horrifying names and to be threatened with bodily harm was just too much. My parents raised me to care.

When I called my "niece", I said, "What is the purpose of my being here? People don't care about this City. Your Dad cussed me out this morning. My children don't even believe that I can be the Mayor of this City, when I know I am more than capable." She tried to calm me down. I had enough. I had been embarrassed by my desire to have rally after rally about the corruption of the police department, but no one would hear me. I felt hopeless. I told her that I "could" take all this medicine that these doctors have given me. I said that I am sick of being sick with seizures, HIV and heart disease. I told her that I didn't have food in my home. I told her that my bills were mounting. I was overwhelmed. I told her that my own children think I am crazy. I told her that I have lost so much in one year. My Brother Kevin, who was like a twin to me. My best friend Vincent Currie, who was murdered in Indiana January 1st 2008, my Godmother Madeline Senegal January 22, 2008, My "sister" Diana Adams June 10, 2008, my Godfather James Mabon July 25, 2008, my church family at Acts Full Gospel Church of God In Christ September 21, 2008 of 7,000 members due to my political aspirations, and finally my other Godmother Corrine Davis November 7, 2008. All these people were very close to me.

Most people would haved cracked under less weight. I call it a momment of weakness. I hung up the phone. I called her back to say I thought about it, by the time someone would get to me, by the way people have been responding, I would be dead and hung up the phone again. Next, I cried and laid down. I thought, "nobody is worth me ending my life." I have too much to live for. I had not been sleeping, so I took a nap. I was awakened by my "brother" bamming on the door. I don't open the door for anybody bamming on my door. He has a bad temper. He has been known to take doors off the hinge, so I blocked the door and came upstairs. He was out of control. I have been in a relationship with an abusive man before, so I didn't open the door.

The next thing I know police were breaking my door in. Officer Jerry Williams tried to get me to talk to him. I told Jerry, I didn't want to talk to him either. I felt like OHAPD used me too. They knew that I had been sick and that I had a lot of death in my family, not even a card. WOW! My "brother" tried to talk to me. I said, "not Mr. F... you!" Now he wanted to care. I closed by bedroom door and locked it. I was done. I know the OHAPD Officers, some are no good. They like to harrass me and some of us have had run ins in the past. I did not know that OPD was here too, but they were. More than 10 police cars were here at my home. What was that about? Overreaction by a family that could have simply helped me with some bills and talked to me when I needed it. Or some support when I needed to get to the doctor, hospital, grocery store, HIV/AIDS clinic or to a movie with me.

An Access worker came to the door to talk to me. I asked if he were white? He would not answer. I knew the answer. I just wanted to talk to a black therepist. Someone who could understand where I was at. I had no desire to take my life. I was just scared. Scared of officers with guns drawn. Scared of Kenny, because of his temper. Scared of the public embarrassment with my neighbors who use to respect me, now I am just a crazy woman in the neighborhood. I know better. My mother use to say you can out live a lie. That is a lie.

Finally, Officer Jerry Williams asked me to sing, I sang, "I Won't Complain". I was getting up to come out of my room when I heard another officer ask me to sing again. Then I heard them say, "Let's tase her!" I said, "Please don't tase me, I am a heart paitient and I have siezures" My hands were up in surrender, they broke through the door and tased me anyway. I was unarmed.

As for the pills on the floor on my "green sheet", the officers (OPD and OHAPD) knocked them over when they broke through the door. They were in a vase. I had planned to make a mosaic with them. No one should have to take that much medicine. The officers took the probe out of my leg after they laughed about tasing me. They handcuffed me brought me downstairs. My family was unaware that I was tased. They were very upset. It was an excessive use of force. When I came downstairs, they strapped me down to the gurney of the ambulance like a wild dog. I asked my family, "Is this what you wanted?"

Officer Godfrey came to the hospital to take pictures, I showed him the wrong leg by mistake, I was still dazed. It was my left leg.

Since being tased, I have reported my case to the Citizens Police Review Board, who reportend it to Internal Affairs. I gave an audio and video to Iternal Affairs Department. Nothing has been done to the officers. I also filed a report with OHAPD. They sent back a response in less than 2 weeks. The report said the officers followed protocol.

Ironically, 4 days before I was tased I spoke out against the way that officers handle the public in a Citzens Police Review Board Meeting. After I left that meeting I broke up a raid on my neighbords home. 21 white officers, no black officers, 10:30 p.m. and no search warrant. Not In My Back Yard!

I believe my tasing was a retaliation. I will continue to fight to my case.