Neo-Cowpokes Fail to Corral Corruption

DEL NORTE COUNTY, Ca. --- Neo-cowboy Schwarzenegger’s latest bid for political stardom includes a saddle-sore goose-step with the mafia-like prison guards union. Not surprisingly, glittering stars in the eyes of Arnold and his ranch-hand, Attorney General, Bill Lockyer, have blinded them to escalating tales of corruption festering like pimples around communities closest to the state’s shameful, corruption-riddled, super max prisons.

Within miles of infamous Pelican Bay State Prison, notorious for its abusive guards, the Del Norte County District Attorney, Mike Riese, was reportedly caught in scams to sell illegal automatic weapons and mysteriously dropping felony charges against defendants who were able to cough up over a million dollars in “restitution,” for which Riese raked in a whopping $100,000. investigative fee. Riese reportedly testified before a Grand Jury that he had the approval of ranch-hand Lockyer’s Office in selling freedom-for-money, which Lockyer’s Office later denied.

Even as the ATF confiscated the weapons and Riese was forced to refund the proceeds, which had taken a circuitous accounting route, local Sheriff, Dean Wilson, said Riese had “done nothing illegal.” Wilson added of Riese, “If we believed he had done something illegal, we would be arresting him.”

If ranch-hand Lockyer can’t be troubled with tales of prevaricating, gun-running, freedom-selling, D.A.’s and their pony-show sheriff, twiddling logic in ways even a seven year old sociopath would be embarrassed of, then perhaps Good Ol’ Bill can’t handle the job of guarding our public treasury.

Uber-cowpoke Arnold’s blithe blindness to the plight of citizens whose law enforcement have taken a head-dive down the slippery slope of corruption makes him a wonderful candidate for a starring role as the next Boss Hogg, but not quite gubernatorial material.