BART Celebrates Corporate Casual Day

BART celebrates corporate casual. Yes, we encourage our loyal commuters to take advantage of “corporate” casual day. To celebrate your independent thinking and freedom we would like to encourage you to participate in your corporation’s dress casual day. It is usually only on Friday and, remember, “corporate” casual. Don’t try anything too wild or out of the norm – we might look at you strangely and wonder if you fit in “our” system. Of course, the BART police will be nice and friendly to our “corporate” casual customers and try to keep the nasty, ugly protestors from bothering you and your important career goals. Remember – you have careers that give you one day a week to be “corporate casual” and to express yourself. Isn’t that wonderful? Imagine being a protestor – they have no careers and basically nothing going for them.

And remember, BART police are there to protect and serve you and to make sure that that you get to the plantation, ops – I meant work on time. And we know you have lives outside of work so if you are inconvenienced even a minute from your so important lives we would feel really bad.

If the BART police have to kill anyone, we will make sure that we have it cleaned up quickly so that it does not inconvenience or disturb you. You might never know that anything ever happened. And that is the way we would like it – like nothing ever happened. Remember – the police have everything under control and you should just move on by and never, never interfere with them or try to know what they are doing. Because, really, they don’t work for you – they just serve you and your corporate masters. Unless you are poor or don’t behave like a good American –then we have special services.

Oh, and we will keep making all kind of loud messages over and over again in the stations so that you don’t have to think about anything anymore. We have the sound jacked up so even a deaf person will be able to hear it by the vibrations. Just follow all of our messages and instructions. Be good little people. And keep your eyes open for anything suspicious. Thanks.