Stop holiday returns NOW! (ahhhh, ok…)

We can’t let our fellow SF consumers downplay the importance of material happiness. We need to help them realize that they are making big mistakes by returning holiday gifts to corporate retail chains!

Besides, corporate retail chains are part of our community too, and are doing their best to bring forth a happier population. We as individual people would have no identity without their beautifully crafted commercials and billboards offering us insight into what life is truly about.

Let's start up friendly conversation with consumers entering stores with return bags and ask them to reconsider what they are doing. “Are you endangering your well-being by making such a rash decision today?” “Are you neglecting your true source of happiness in life?”

If they can’t be convinced, lets then help offer them useful coping skills to adequately absorb their losses without overwhelming grief. Increase exercise? Turn to the support of loved ones? More church god dammit! Anyone know any good therapists? Or maybe we can at least convince them to exchange their purchases for something else.

We, together, as guardians of Union Square, will ensure our nation prospers together with liberty, justice, and corporate brainwashing for all.


**Feel free to email me before the event with questions or suggestions to help get the word out!