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Indybay Feature

An open letter to those conflicted

by Mandy Oglesby (aoglesby [at] ucsd.edu)
Reflections on the eve of one of the most exalting and devastating night of my life, celebrating a win in the white house and a loss in my own. The passing of prop 8.
Do not be discouraged by the passing of proposition 8. Do not let anyone tell you that the passing of this proposition somehow equates to the validity of the backwards thinking or hypocritical persecution practiced by the people who passed it. Last night was a minor victory for us. Last night half of the voting state of California, 5 million people, stood up for the dignities of Gays and Lesbians. They stood up for the unfair and wrongful elimination of our basic and fundamental rights as Tax paying, democracy loving Americans. They stood up and shouted at the top of their lungs proving once again that this country is still capable of change. In my lifetime I have seen the pendulum swing. Not by much, but by many. Children today have choices. I see them exercising those choices everyday and it is my hope that by the time they are my age we will have fought long enough and hard enough for them to enjoy the rights and privileges of Marriage without consideration to the hypothetical and fear driven scenarios being pumped through conservative airways to continue the long tradition of oppression the 'moral majority' is so fond of. Do not let this be an end, but a beginning of this fight. Write your Governor. Write your Congressman. Write your president. Call your friends and families into action. Open the doors of discussion which have previously been closed and keep them open. KEEP PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT PROPOSITION 8. Do not meet the self righteous and indignant anger of those gloating in their successful tyranny with equal anger. Remain the loving, kind and compassionate person that you are. Communicate with them in the true spirt of the God they've long forgotten. Sincerity, Empathy and Forgiveness. God does not belong to them. Goodness and moral efficacy do not belong to them. Family values do not belong to them. This measure will be on the be on the ballot again, and it will be defeated. The assurance of our success depends on the diligence we exercise until then. I believe in this process. I am reclaiming God. I and I will see full equality and civil liberty for Gays and lesbians everywhere realized in my lifetime.
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by J habring
Thank you, I needed this. I think a lot of people are needing this.
by M Melendez
Excellent post Mandy! very well said.
by Boston Blake
Thank you for that. My anger has been getting the better of me this morning. "The God they've long forgotten..." Yes, I remember. Love, Compassion, Generosity.
by Jan
Please contact me regarding some opportunities with the marriage equality campaign. We need you on board!
by Mark
This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning!
by AlexT
Most of us who voted YES on Prop 8 have nothing but respect and compassion for members of the LGBT community. But compassion cannot be confused with acceptance of immoral behavior.

"God-sanctioned marriage between a man and a woman has been the basis of civilization for thousands of years. There is no justification to redefine what marriage is. Such is not our right, and those who try will find themselves answerable to God.

"Some portray legalization of so-called same-sex marriage as a civil right. This is not a matter of civil rights; it is a matter of morality. Others question our constitutional right as a church to raise our voice on an issue that is of critical importance to the future of the family. We believe that defending this sacred institution by working to preserve traditional marriage lies clearly within our religious and constitutional prerogatives. Indeed, we are compelled by our doctrine to speak out.

"Nevertheless, and I emphasize this, I wish to say that our opposition to attempts to legalize same-sex marriage should never be interpreted as justification for hatred, intolerance, or abuse of those who profess homosexual tendencies, either individually or as a group. As I said from this pulpit one year ago, our hearts reach out to those who refer to themselves as gays and lesbians. We love and honor them as sons and daughters of God. They are welcome in the Church. It is expected, however, that they follow the same God-given rules of conduct that apply to everyone else, whether single or married." (Gordon B. Hinckley, past President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)

More reasons why I voted YES on Prop 8 here

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by Mandy Oglesby
The reasons you've voted yes on prop 8 are misguided, plain and simple. There is already legislation in place to protect children from education in regards to marriage or family studies without full consent of the parent, be it gay or straight. There is already legislation in place to protect churches from litigation and preserve their right to discriminate in who they choose to marry. (gay straight, black white, religious or non religious) These reasons are fear tactics mobilized by the offensive and were effective because there is nothing this world shoots down faster than something it fears. but when you allow fear to control how you respond and move through this world, God is no longer in it.

The point here, alex...is that this does not belong in the polls. You are happy to pass legislation based on faith when faith is in your favor. But if the majority shifts and turns against you, i guarantee you, you will cry the loudest and the longest about this injustice.

this is about equality. separate is not equal. one is not better than the other. and as a christian...you should know this.



by Lisa
You just articulated everything i'm thinking! your response to the yes on 8'er is dead on. keep it coming! the world needs to hear it!
by Jason
prop 8 passed by just the slimmest of margens. to quote Nessie: It was a dumb move to cancle halloween in the Castro. you turned off a lot of people who might have befriended you otherwise.
this one stupid move might well have cost you victory on prop 8
by Matt
That I completely agree. I voted no on prop 8 because I'm tired of seeing the "moral majority" throw it's weight around. My wife and I couldn't be prouder to vote no on this prop! We will continue to fight along with you until it's defeated!
by Melanie T.
Mandy--

Thank you for reminding us all to not wallow in anger or depression. Seeing you last night truly lifted my spirits, and I am really proud to call you my friend and am so glad Phill and I were able to meet you. Currently, we are disgusted to be part of the "institution of marriage," and I am particularly disgusted to go to work and the grocery story among people I know voted Yes, to even live in this state... I feel like I am at bursting point, the worst I've ever felt in my life, to be honest... and my rights weren't even taken away. And here you are, reminding all of us to be strong. My admiration for you, your love, and your strength is beyond words.
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