Raging Grannies: The Rapture (Green Festival)

THE RAPTURE (Key of D)
(Tune: I've Been Working On The Railroad)

We've been waiting for the rapture
To lift us up to heaven
Today's the day they promised lift off
At twenty past eleven.

First, we'll see the angel Gabriel,
And then the chariots come
But only for us true believers,
Not you other scum.

We will be the first
The rest of you are cursed.
The flames of hell are waiting there for you.
There'll be a mighty fire
And you'll be on the pyre
When god fires up the barbecue.

Who cares about global warming,
Poverty or war?
Who cares about the future
When we won't be around any more.

We've read the Book of Revelations
Every gory bit.
Lots of thunder-claps and smiting,
In the good old holy writ.

We confess we once were sinners
But we've joined the righteous squad.
We sent our money to the preacher
Now we're right with god.

We will be the first
The rest of you are cursed.
The flames of hell are waiting there for you.
There'll be a mighty fire
And you'll be on the pyre
When god fires up the barbecue.

Who cares about global warming,
Poverty or war?
Who cares about the future
When we won't be around any more.

Please don't take the following as a personal attack on you, but I am presuming that you are not the author of this piece, and I thought that perhaps the author should read my rebuttal to the message they are trying to spread around, in my opinion, without facts to back it up. As a starting point where satan apparently introduced deception to weaken and confuse the churches, we could look to a Jesuit priest named Emmanuel Lacunza. Lacunza's 1790 book titled, "The Coming of Messiah in Glory and Majesty", and in the early 1800's it was published in many languages.

Rev. Edward Irving, a presbyter of the Church of Scotland, translated the book to English and it was published in 1826 but it has been discovered that there were many translation errors. The errors gathered momentum when in 1830 a fifteen year old Scottish young lady named Margaret MacDonald reportedly had a PROPHETIC END-TIME VISION which gained credibility and spread. Another suspect teacher of note is J.N. Darby of England. A student of Darby was Cyrus I. Scofield (1843-1921), a successful American lawyer. Scofield published widely distributed Bible Reference Notes in 1909. From these beginnings the errors have become widely accepted as "gospel".

If one actually reads the bible, they will find that it states clearly (Beware of faulse prophets.)

Matthew 24:37-41 (Jesus speaking) But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of Man be. For as in the days that were before the flood, THEY (the wicked) were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark. And THEY (the wicked) knew not until the flood came and took THEM (the wicked) ALL AWAY; so shall also the coming of the Son of Man be.

Verse 40 - Then shall two be in the field, the (WICKED) one SHALL BE TAKEN, and the other left.

Two shall be grinding at the mill; the (WICKED) one SHALL BE TAKEN and the other left.

Luke 17:26, 27 and 34-36 (Jesus speaking) As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be also in the day of the Son of Man. THEY (the WICKED) did eat, THEY (the WICKED) did drink, THEY (the WICKED) married wives, THEY (the WICKED) were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came and destroyed THEM (the WICKED) all.

...I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed,; the (WICKED) one SHALL BE TAKEN (destroyed) and the other left.

Two women shall be grinding together; the (WICKED) one SHALL BE TAKEN (destroyed) and the other left.

Two men shall be in the field; the (WICKED) one SHALL BE TAKEN (destroyed) and the other left.

RAPTURE believers think THEY will be the ONE TAKEN. If you think YOU will be TAKEN, lets see what Jesus says will happen to you.

Luke 17:37, Jesus answers the disciples question of what happens to the TAKEN ONES. Jesus said, WHERE THERE IS A DEAD BODY, THERE THE VULTURES WILL GATHER.

2 Peter 2:5 (Peter speaking) (God) saved (kept safe) Noah...bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly (WICKED).

Matthew 13:24-30 The parable of the wheat and the tares. Gather together FIRST THE TARES. Jesus continues, The Son of Man shall send forth His angels, and they will gather OUT of His Kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity....

Luke 17:29,30 (Jesus speaking) ...(in) Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from Heaven and destroyed THEM ALL. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. THE WICKED were destroyed, once again.

Matthew 13:47-50 (Jesus speaking) Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a net that was cast into the sea and gathered of every kind, which, when it was full, they drew to shore; and they sat down and gathered the good into vessels, but THREW THE BAD AWAY. So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and SEVER THE WICKED from among the just, and cast them into the furnace of fire...

Once again the GOOD remain and the BAD are thrown away. THE WICKED TAKEN and destroyed "from among the just," who remain on the earth.

I Thessalonians 5:3 (Paul speaking) For when THEY (THE WICKED) shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction shall come upon THEM...and they shall not escape.

There are hundreds of examples to dispute the Rapture, but I will simply list these few. The Jesuit, motto is "Through deception we will make war" So doesn't the Rapture sound more like the Devil through deception, coming to clime his victims, rather than the Lord coming to gather his flock?

Again I wish to say that the above is not intended to offned, but rather one mans take on the way things are described in the bible. That is why I don't look at the bible as my life line to the future of man.

Wonderfully rebuked, fellow Rapture scoffer. My 100% guarantee was the "Parable of the Tares." To this day, I(and I know it is not my duty)continue to identify the tares. Thank GOD for Jesus Christ who came in the flesh and sends us the Holy Spirit.

Hmm were the Raging Grannies being "rebuked" in the first comment posted? So there was actually a point hidden in the somewhat incoherent ramblings posted?
It's been a while since I did four years of theology in college but a discussion of who would be "taken" and who would not be "taken" just didn't seem to figure prominently in the writings of the great theologians we studied.
I think the bottom line is that the extreme views described in the song lyrics do actually represent the views of some people.
Personally I like the Sermon on the Mount. Something about "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God."
Granny Frances