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Totally Bummed Out

Monday, February 7, 2005

No matter what anyone says, Berkeley is a marvelous place to live. You know it’s a great city when you have 71 different varieties of foreign cuisine to choose from. And only in Berkeley can you burn off all those calories by simply traversing the hills to class. It has relatively good weather all year long and handsome people writing for the school newspaper.

Unfortunately, there’s a segment of the Berkeley population that occasionally makes me forget how much I enjoy this town: the homeless. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t stand them. I don’t consider myself a hobophobe, but I do think I should be able to walk from campus to Moe’s Books without being solicited for change a dozen times.

Frankly, I find the community’s attitude toward the vagrant population perplexing. My theory is that the city thinks of the homeless as pets. They urinate in public, make a fuss when ignored and aren’t allowed in upscale restaurants. We know they serve no purpose, but one look at their sad eyes and cute wet noses keeps us from getting rid of them.

I like my pets to have four legs or gills, but that’s just me.

Berkeley is home to over 800 of these “eccentric” individuals, and our support is the cause of this massive problem. Of course they’re attracted to tax-free income—they’re bums. If they weren’t given money and food from sympathetic college students they wouldn’t stick around.

Aren’t college students supposed to be poor anyway? We gripe about having to pay $59.23 for a Philosophy reader, and then happily give the change to some guy using a pizza box as a hat. I don’t follow the logic.

If everyone followed my lead, our city would be bum-free. Freshman year I made an oath to never give a cent to the homeless, and I’ve stuck to it. Sure, I’m a parsimonious jackass, but I’m a parsimonious jackass with principles. I don’t ascribe to the “they’ve been wronged by society and need our help” school of thought. I see the vast majority as either being too lazy to pull their lives together, or simply choosing to remain homeless for the sheer thrill of it. Those who need serious medical attention will gain little benefit from some leftover fries.

Berkeley’s vagabonds get under my skin for more than just the petty annoyances. I consider them a true detriment to society. It is undeniable that they increase crime rates, thus increasing the size of our police force, which takes away from other valuable public services. Just recently I witnessed a sleeping bag-carrying lunatic smash a car window. He didn’t steal anything, he just must not have liked the way the window was looking at him.

Both Telegraph Avenue and Bancroft Way have seen an exodus of business in recent years. When car windows face constant danger and panhandlers sit like gargoyles in front of every shop, this should come as no surprise.

The homeless population is damaging to our prestigious university as well. My brother is a high school senior, and believe it or not, smarter than I am. Spending some time with me here in Berkeley has him wondering if he’d want to spend four years in a place with so many “crazies.”

My brother is 6-feet 5-inches tall and weighs more than 200 pounds; if he feels this way, imagine how sheltered 18-year-old girls must feel.

The city was recently given $8 million in federal funds to aid the homeless, getting a whopping 11 people off the street. That comes to over $725,000 per homeless person removed. I’m no econ major, but that seems like a lot.

It wouldn’t surprise me if these funds do nothing but exacerbate Berkeley’s problem. The more funds the city spends on this problem, the more homeless they will attract. The federal government may have just given Berkeley an $8 million hobo welcome mat.

Sure we got 11 people off the street, but what happens when 50 take their place?

Whether it’s college students or the government, spoon-feeding vagrants money has proven not to be the answer. To really help the homeless we need to do more than just support their addictions and enable them to continue living on the street. We need to teach them real-world skills, help them land jobs, and get them psychological care.

I’m not really sure why this is the city’s job, but then again, they are our pets.


David’s begging for your two cents at david [at] dailycal.org.


Recent Columns from this Writer:
Mustn’t-See TV - Jan 31, 2005
Don’t Overreact to This ... - Jan 24, 2005
Confessions of a Gym Rat - Jan 21, 2005