Publish to Newswire
Add an EventFrom the Open-Publishing Calendar
From the Open-Publishing Newswire
Indybay Feature
Canada Doesnt Want You
Piss off and fix your own counrty.
fuck off, american liberals.
im a canadian. all i hear this past week is how people want to move to canada. they whine at me. "will you take me there," "i cant stand this anymore," etc.
here are a few thoughts, which are definitely shared by many of my brethren back home, who are hearing a lot of the same:
#1. piss off. why would we want you in canada? if you care so little about your own democracy that you will run away from it, when it is so clearly in need of your help? what are you going to do to our country?
#2. you are pathetic. you dont deserve even our version of "democracy," such as it is, since you are obviously unable to defend the Big One here where you live. i have yet to hear one intelligent reply to a question i have been asking of americans: "why do you people have this wierd electoral college thing, anyway? shouldnt all the voters in every state be equally important in your democracy?" you people are unable to even understand your own system. you pay all this money to the government so they can go all over the world bludgeoning little defenseless countries to "spread democracy." fuck your violent greedy government. you never seem to challenge them much, so fuck you as well.
#3. the only alternative you seem able to imagine to your phony ass democracy is "communism." first of all, the logical opposite to communism is capitalism. "democracy," if you would logically think on it, can't exist under either system. (canada included). you dont read, much, do you?
#4. what have you been doing about these electronic voting machines that just ruined your "election"? nothing. less than nothing, you've been willingly voting on them! even though they leave you no paper trail. for all you know, you voted for mickey mouse. and now you want to come to my country? fuck off.
#5. what have you been doing about your media lying to you? nothing. you sit there and soak up more and more, like you're on crack. there are so many films about what has happened to you and yet so few among you bother to motivate to even want to know what is happening. you've been diddled, been fucked. everyone else knows it but you. you're the laughing stock of the whole globe right now. you've been so obviously, blatantly lied to. it's really tough to believe you people are willing to take this shit lying down. you and your "terminator, tough guy, we're no. 1" crap. you're a bunch of nitwits. scaredy cats. and wierdos. so fuck off.
you're all struck dumb and say you're feeling betrayed. well, it's embarrassing. as i said, you have all these films - outfoxed, unprecedented, fahrenheit 9-11, etc. who knows. a lot of them. there are more anti-bush books than cookbooks in the bookstores now. the whole world is just so ashamed of you, and you seem so unaware of this. you're so lazy, you just want another latte and some chocolate and a "fun weekend." fuck off. stay out of our country.
#6. it's sickening to hear you. privileged, well-heeled american libserals, standing aorund your preschool parking lots and your coffee machines. saying "oh the stupid people in 'jesusland' elected bush, not us." ya, right.
you've allowed electronic voter machines, designed by a republican operative at the diebold corporation, to have gradually taken over your democratic process ever since 2000. even the new york times reported that. and you did nothing. you voted on them.
#7. about 2000. remember that? when you did NOTHING after bush stole the whitehouse the first time?
you people think you are smarter than the evangelical bloc? who actuallly organized themselves extraordinarily well, and got over their differences, and didnt shred each other over petty ideological rifts like the left here in the usa does? you're no better. so fuck off.
#8. this happened to you 4 years ago, not last week. why didnt you do something about it then? why didnt you storm the whitehouse? why did you fund john kerry, who never once stood up for you or got into the streets with you?
#9 canadian democracy is way beyond you. it sucks but it's way more intricate than this bullshit you play around with here. we are not confident that you can even deal with canada. it often works as a multiparty system where we have power-sharing government. you americans cant seem to grok the idea of more than one party in power at a time. the one party is always the money party, red or blue flavour. are you willing to learn about more than the money party? it gets complicated. you'll have to read stuff.
#10. canadians vote with our feet, our mouths, and our ballots, not our teevees, or "polls" that the media lies about. how many of you reading this have ever been "polled"? why doesnt that worry you?
your style of campaigns are illegal in canada. we pay way higher taxes than you do. and you people dont tolerate that. you wont even approve a little teeny weenie extra tax to keep the libraries open in berkeley. in berkeley! you voted down the prop 66 ammendment, too. heartless! you are so stingy when it comes to helping the poor and welfare and all that. its scary. who do you think you are?
we usually have an 80% voter turnout in canada. sometimes more. you americans would rather watch the tube and eat pizza than go out to vote. we get free health care (admitedly imperfect, but we're trying to keep the american vultures out of our system, and its costing us). we have cheap or free education, libraries that are actually open, national pharmacare, daycare and old age safety nets, homecare for the elderly, etc., as our priorities, not terror terror terror, which you people created in the first place. we have legalized gay marriage in 7 of ten provinces, and are about to make that a national law. we have legalized hemp and medical marijuana. we expect a lot from our politicians and we spend many many hours wrangling over very unsexy issues. you people need exploding fireballs and death and destruction all over your television screens to keep your attention.
we have a meager little military and we dont have the biggest dick in the bathroom, and that's a GOOD thing. we believe in negotiation and diplomacy and treaties and non-proliferation and sustainability and things like that.
you dont even know what most of those things are.
you americans will have to grow attention spans, and you wont do it. so fuck off.
#11. cigarettes and booze are expensive in canada. gasoline is very expensive. there are laws against road rage and cell phone drivers and we have lower speed limits. you people hate that kind of thing. you say it infringes on your "liberties".. you will just come up here and whine about the expensive gas (its 6 bucks a gallon in europe and almost 5 in canada). we dont want you and your giant ugly beast vehicles all over our roads, driving like maniacs, packing guns, for fucks sakes. so fuck off.
#12. we dont want your guns or your wild cowboy asshole gangster im the boss stay off my lawn evil assed bad tempered stupidity. we dont shoot each other here. so fuck off.
in fact, we just dont want you, period. you can't just come running up here to canada and expect us to welcome you now. yes we welcomed the draft dodgers in the 60s because they had some good politics. they were friendly hippies, most of them. and the nixon boys were trying to kill them strait out of high school. that's true today, we know that. your ghettos have one way out and it's strait into the fangs and claws of your unbelievably large military. but you are so arrogant now. it's harder to love you. way harder. so if you have a draft again we will welcome the boys and girls who want to live their lives in peace. but you middle class liberals...its so hard to love you. we try, but it's not working anymore. you make us feel sick.
we've been struggling to maintain our identity next to you our behemoth neighbour for a century or so. and now you and your bill clintonoid "free trade" crap have decimated our economy, poisoned our media and dashed and our hopes for much of anything but cowering in your shadow, hoping the russians or arabs or whoever hates you the most can still tell us apart from you. we've watched you invade and destroy lots of other countries in the past decades, including grenada, haiti, hait again, and haiti again, nicaragua, el salvador, panama, iraq, iraq, iraq again, kuwait, and colombia, (which you dont even know is happening.) we got talked into helping you people hunt for terrorists in afghanistan but you never even tried to find osama, you were more interested in getting those poppy fields back up and running and getting that oil pipeline in. then you blew up a bunch of our troops there and never even apologized for your "error". we said fuck off to invading iraq and we intend to keep saying it wherever else you decide to go with your death machine. we talk about you this way on our news. you have no idea.
now your educated, white liberals want to come up here with their teeveee patch kids and do what? consume? not vote? get free health care?
fuck off. fix your own democracy. the whole world is watching.
im a canadian. all i hear this past week is how people want to move to canada. they whine at me. "will you take me there," "i cant stand this anymore," etc.
here are a few thoughts, which are definitely shared by many of my brethren back home, who are hearing a lot of the same:
#1. piss off. why would we want you in canada? if you care so little about your own democracy that you will run away from it, when it is so clearly in need of your help? what are you going to do to our country?
#2. you are pathetic. you dont deserve even our version of "democracy," such as it is, since you are obviously unable to defend the Big One here where you live. i have yet to hear one intelligent reply to a question i have been asking of americans: "why do you people have this wierd electoral college thing, anyway? shouldnt all the voters in every state be equally important in your democracy?" you people are unable to even understand your own system. you pay all this money to the government so they can go all over the world bludgeoning little defenseless countries to "spread democracy." fuck your violent greedy government. you never seem to challenge them much, so fuck you as well.
#3. the only alternative you seem able to imagine to your phony ass democracy is "communism." first of all, the logical opposite to communism is capitalism. "democracy," if you would logically think on it, can't exist under either system. (canada included). you dont read, much, do you?
#4. what have you been doing about these electronic voting machines that just ruined your "election"? nothing. less than nothing, you've been willingly voting on them! even though they leave you no paper trail. for all you know, you voted for mickey mouse. and now you want to come to my country? fuck off.
#5. what have you been doing about your media lying to you? nothing. you sit there and soak up more and more, like you're on crack. there are so many films about what has happened to you and yet so few among you bother to motivate to even want to know what is happening. you've been diddled, been fucked. everyone else knows it but you. you're the laughing stock of the whole globe right now. you've been so obviously, blatantly lied to. it's really tough to believe you people are willing to take this shit lying down. you and your "terminator, tough guy, we're no. 1" crap. you're a bunch of nitwits. scaredy cats. and wierdos. so fuck off.
you're all struck dumb and say you're feeling betrayed. well, it's embarrassing. as i said, you have all these films - outfoxed, unprecedented, fahrenheit 9-11, etc. who knows. a lot of them. there are more anti-bush books than cookbooks in the bookstores now. the whole world is just so ashamed of you, and you seem so unaware of this. you're so lazy, you just want another latte and some chocolate and a "fun weekend." fuck off. stay out of our country.
#6. it's sickening to hear you. privileged, well-heeled american libserals, standing aorund your preschool parking lots and your coffee machines. saying "oh the stupid people in 'jesusland' elected bush, not us." ya, right.
you've allowed electronic voter machines, designed by a republican operative at the diebold corporation, to have gradually taken over your democratic process ever since 2000. even the new york times reported that. and you did nothing. you voted on them.
#7. about 2000. remember that? when you did NOTHING after bush stole the whitehouse the first time?
you people think you are smarter than the evangelical bloc? who actuallly organized themselves extraordinarily well, and got over their differences, and didnt shred each other over petty ideological rifts like the left here in the usa does? you're no better. so fuck off.
#8. this happened to you 4 years ago, not last week. why didnt you do something about it then? why didnt you storm the whitehouse? why did you fund john kerry, who never once stood up for you or got into the streets with you?
#9 canadian democracy is way beyond you. it sucks but it's way more intricate than this bullshit you play around with here. we are not confident that you can even deal with canada. it often works as a multiparty system where we have power-sharing government. you americans cant seem to grok the idea of more than one party in power at a time. the one party is always the money party, red or blue flavour. are you willing to learn about more than the money party? it gets complicated. you'll have to read stuff.
#10. canadians vote with our feet, our mouths, and our ballots, not our teevees, or "polls" that the media lies about. how many of you reading this have ever been "polled"? why doesnt that worry you?
your style of campaigns are illegal in canada. we pay way higher taxes than you do. and you people dont tolerate that. you wont even approve a little teeny weenie extra tax to keep the libraries open in berkeley. in berkeley! you voted down the prop 66 ammendment, too. heartless! you are so stingy when it comes to helping the poor and welfare and all that. its scary. who do you think you are?
we usually have an 80% voter turnout in canada. sometimes more. you americans would rather watch the tube and eat pizza than go out to vote. we get free health care (admitedly imperfect, but we're trying to keep the american vultures out of our system, and its costing us). we have cheap or free education, libraries that are actually open, national pharmacare, daycare and old age safety nets, homecare for the elderly, etc., as our priorities, not terror terror terror, which you people created in the first place. we have legalized gay marriage in 7 of ten provinces, and are about to make that a national law. we have legalized hemp and medical marijuana. we expect a lot from our politicians and we spend many many hours wrangling over very unsexy issues. you people need exploding fireballs and death and destruction all over your television screens to keep your attention.
we have a meager little military and we dont have the biggest dick in the bathroom, and that's a GOOD thing. we believe in negotiation and diplomacy and treaties and non-proliferation and sustainability and things like that.
you dont even know what most of those things are.
you americans will have to grow attention spans, and you wont do it. so fuck off.
#11. cigarettes and booze are expensive in canada. gasoline is very expensive. there are laws against road rage and cell phone drivers and we have lower speed limits. you people hate that kind of thing. you say it infringes on your "liberties".. you will just come up here and whine about the expensive gas (its 6 bucks a gallon in europe and almost 5 in canada). we dont want you and your giant ugly beast vehicles all over our roads, driving like maniacs, packing guns, for fucks sakes. so fuck off.
#12. we dont want your guns or your wild cowboy asshole gangster im the boss stay off my lawn evil assed bad tempered stupidity. we dont shoot each other here. so fuck off.
in fact, we just dont want you, period. you can't just come running up here to canada and expect us to welcome you now. yes we welcomed the draft dodgers in the 60s because they had some good politics. they were friendly hippies, most of them. and the nixon boys were trying to kill them strait out of high school. that's true today, we know that. your ghettos have one way out and it's strait into the fangs and claws of your unbelievably large military. but you are so arrogant now. it's harder to love you. way harder. so if you have a draft again we will welcome the boys and girls who want to live their lives in peace. but you middle class liberals...its so hard to love you. we try, but it's not working anymore. you make us feel sick.
we've been struggling to maintain our identity next to you our behemoth neighbour for a century or so. and now you and your bill clintonoid "free trade" crap have decimated our economy, poisoned our media and dashed and our hopes for much of anything but cowering in your shadow, hoping the russians or arabs or whoever hates you the most can still tell us apart from you. we've watched you invade and destroy lots of other countries in the past decades, including grenada, haiti, hait again, and haiti again, nicaragua, el salvador, panama, iraq, iraq, iraq again, kuwait, and colombia, (which you dont even know is happening.) we got talked into helping you people hunt for terrorists in afghanistan but you never even tried to find osama, you were more interested in getting those poppy fields back up and running and getting that oil pipeline in. then you blew up a bunch of our troops there and never even apologized for your "error". we said fuck off to invading iraq and we intend to keep saying it wherever else you decide to go with your death machine. we talk about you this way on our news. you have no idea.
now your educated, white liberals want to come up here with their teeveee patch kids and do what? consume? not vote? get free health care?
fuck off. fix your own democracy. the whole world is watching.
We are 100% volunteer and depend on your participation to sustain our efforts!
Donate
$50.00 donated
in the past month
Get Involved
If you'd like to help with maintaining or developing the website, contact us.
Publish
Publish your stories and upcoming events on Indybay.
Topics
More
Search Indybay's Archives
Advanced Search
►
▼
IMC Network
This rude but funny bit about Liberals who have been supporting Kerry without much critical thinking, and who now think they can barge on up to Canada, is not meant to be taken so literally, or so personally, I don't think. The Canadian immigration site has been overwhelmed with hits, according to NPR.
They interviewed a lot of angry Democrats who want to move to Canada, New Zealand and Austrailia. Canadian media is a-buzz with this stuff. I think it is pretty lame that rich liberals want to leave here, after letting things get so bad and doing nothing about it all these years.
Anyway this person is obviously trying to be funny. And asking Americans if THEY know about the electoral college is a good idea. It's true, most of us don't know the answers in this country.
due to genetic problems associated with the reproductive habbits of it's inhabbidents canada is fnow faced with asking for new immigration to it's shores. this comes from the canadian dept.of health
according to Howard Kinsman Canada's director of public health we have allowed this in breeding thing to go on for way too long, sighting the long time problem Mr Kinsman was quoted as saying that "we have to put a stop to this once and for all" and sighting NAFTA we can just let anyone in. they don't have to be perfict. just better that us.
The vaunted "checks and balances" that we're told protects the population from the whims of elite interests were in fact designed as a filtering device to suppress the impulses of the majority, not the other way around. James Madison and Alexander Hamilton were clear about this (see the Federalist Papers, Article 10 in particular). The creation of a bicameral congress modeled on the British system was seen as a necessary move to quell democratically expressed popular upsurges, since any new initiative would have to pass through not only the House of Reps but a Senate that was appointed by state legislatures until 1913! (Of course, property qualifications, racial restrictions, and the fact that women had no right to vote further weighted the system against anything approximating popular rule.) It was assumed that propertied interests would have direct access to the democratic government, while the rest of the population should "wait its turn" attempting to negotiate a system designed to blunt its power. The electoral college is a natural outgrowth of the elitism that animated america's original ruling class.
I was hanging out with these yuppie people who just seemed to me so smug and arrogant, having done nothing to try to change the outcome besides vote for kerry and spend their money on kerry. and now to be so full of spite and elitism, and wanting to bail on their country. it made me sick. I was trying to be biting like some self righteous british/canadian asshole. I guess i did a great job.
I do get the nurge to upset the PC rhetoric around here sometimes, but I went way too far, here. i guess im a lot more angry about all this than I thought. we can all be seen as responsible for this shite, and many of us are also doing a lot to try to change it. i never wrote anything so negative in my whole life.
as they say in quebec, this was tout fucke. I apprecate all the electoral college dialogue here. great graphic too. I'm very sorry to have been such an ugly beaver to all you good american peeps.
chop chop.