Ten Toothsome Reasons to Vote for Gavin

1. In these times of financial uncertainty, this city needs a leader who can relate to the wealthy and help them through the drastic layoffs they will need to institute in order to insulate their wealth.

2. Gavin successfully raised $750,000 to support proposition N, money that might have otherwise been wasted on charity for drug addicted, mentally ill, rude and generally ungrateful bums.

3. Gavin has endured hardship and can understand the problems of the ordinary citizen. Who among us hasn't had their fiancé stolen by Don Johnson? We all understand that pain.

4. Gavin's love of dogs speaks to the tens of San Franciscans who make their political decisions solely based on the needs of their pets.

5. The man has excellent hygiene and is very good looking. Nothing inspires confidence in a leader more than physical attractiveness and a well-cared-for set of teeth.

6. Gavin got his start in the wine business in San Francisco. Really, if you don't like wine, what are you doing in this happy hot-tub of a city anyway?

7. Politically, Gavin started out in the Dept. of parking and traffic. He was by far the best looking employee of that department. Go in and take a look some time if you doubt us.

8. Remember the Jefferson Airplane? Gavin now is part owner of the bar that they started, long before he was born. Of course, no underground rock acts perform there now, but it's good that he's keeping a San Francisco tradition alive.

9. Gavin Newsom is a brave man. He lives only a few miles from one of the most dangerous nuclear waste spills in the U.S. - hunter's point - and he still does his part to help clean up the streets.

10. Again, a man of the people. We've all dated a victoria's secret model once or twice.