Jeffrey Free Luers Prison Dispatch June 15, 2008

Lately, I have been taking the moments of my life and putting them to paper. The process had added colors to my memories, making the pictures in my head every bit as vivid as those in my photo albums.

I have been remembering all of the amazing and inspiring folks I had the honor and the privilege of knowing. Names many would recognize, but I’ve no need to mention (you all know who you are). I have been reliving the experiences, places and subtleties of these friendships.

These moments occurred so long ago, it not only just seems a different time. I know that it actually was! Most clearly the belief and the hope that we really could win. I remember the courageous determination as activists of all kind continued to push the envelope.

I remember a time when we were strong or at the very least we sure as hell felt that way.

Yes, I dream in fairy tales and I’m OK with that. In my day dreams I remember the hard and dangerous work of those who climbed to the tops of trees with me hanging lines and building tree-sits. I recall the faces of those who helped hold the blockades against the bulldozers.

I can still taste the tear gas and feel the pepper spray as we battled riot cops and forced the police to retreat. I can still hear the sound of glass shattering. And I can remember the laughter and smiles and feeling of freedom that surrounded the campfire or permeated one of the local houses after these well-lived days.

I still remember those long days standing on the side of the highway with my thumb out. If those who picked me up only knew, eh?

I remember the bands, the music, the punks and the shows. The soundtrack to my own personal revolution.

So what do these memories have to do with anything? Everything and nothing.

I cannot be reasonably expected to have any understanding of what the world has become. Honestly, I haven’t much grasp of it. They call it institutionalization for a reason.

I have no idea what today’s struggles, scenes, and communities are like.

All I have are my memories of a time I know no longer exists. I no longer get a sense of that hope that once was so prevalent amongst us.

I do, however, remember it. I remember the very real sensation of freedom. I remember feeling like we were unstoppable as long as we continue to remain determined.

I am hungry for that feeling again.

As of late people have been telling me how difficult my life is going to be upon my release. I’ve received letters from former political prisoners warning me of the struggles ahead.

Yet, I’m not scared or intimidated. Yes, the world has changed and I’m going to have to relearn how to navigate its currents. But while the world has changed, I have not. Different perhaps, but not changed.

I have not lost myself in these trying years. I have not let go of who I am nor have I forgotten my principles.

Tomorrow is my 8 year anniversary. It is also my 18 months mark. After tomorrow I will have less than a year and a half to do.

I could never have made it this far if it had not been for the people in my life who showed me strength, taught me courage and inspired me to believe. I would not have made it were it not for the love and support of my family and friends and so many people I do not hardly even know.

I owe my life and my freedom to all of those who held demos and rallies, wrote letters, targeted US embassies, did solidarity actions and never let up the pressure for my release. I know without a doubt that it was not the legal system that reduced my sentence. It was you.

Each passing day I find myself wondering what life will soon be like. Aside from the obvious things like being around women, real food, and unlocked doors again, I wonder what my everyday interactions will be like.

I find myself deeply hoping that I’ll be able to climb again. That I’ll be able to put my skills to some use other than as a hobby. I’ve been thinking about doing speaking events--as the requests have already started to come in -- and frankly wondering what the hell I’m going to say. I have even been thinking about starting a punk band.

My thoughts have increasingly turned from hopes and dreams to plans and preparations. I am excitedly looking forward to meeting new and amazing people, creating more wonderful memories, and maybe, just maybe, hoping to rekindle that hope and defiant spirit that we really can and really will change the world.

- Jeffrey Free Luers

to contact Jeff:

Jeff Luers #13797671
CRCI
9111 NE Sunderland Ave
Portland, OR 97211

to donate to Jeff's education and release fund:
http://freejeffluers.org/donate.html

for more information:
http://freejeffluers.org
info [at] freejeffluers.org